I grew up in Germany and was raised in a non-theistic fashion. That wasn’t because my parents didn’t have any religion in their lives. My father is a theist. My mother a lapsed catholic and devout atheist. And so, when I grew up amongst my theist friends I always felt a bit odd. As though something was missing. I felt that I had to have a religion to be complete. My catholic grandparents (maternal side) were all too happy to enforce this belief. My parents didn't mind my dabbling in religion. They felt I needed to find my own way and so quietly waited on the sidelines whilst I stumbled about. I dabbled in Catholicism. And then a friend’s daughter tried to pull me into Scientology. My normally tolerant and reasonably supportive mother quickly pulled me out of that. She told me later it took some effort and threats of legal action on both sides. But my mother is a force of nature and endowed with a (tested) near genius level IQ. I have never seen anyone prevail against my mother. So that was that.
When I went to a boarding school I enrolled into Bible school. That is until I was requested not to come back. I didn’t misbehave or anything. I never skipped classes and I never failed to turn in homework or to learn some scripture by heart. But I asked questions. And I argued. And I argued so successfully that the kindly Irish priest with his white hair, sparkling blue eyes and florid face asked the headmistress to stop me from coming. He failed argument after argument with me and that, of course, was a problem for him. After all, I wasn’t the only kid there. There were a number of other students who thought our verbal spars to be quite entertaining. And I am sure my arguments made them think. For the catholic priest that was a problem.
Obviously, I was never meant to be a catholic.
I tried Catholicism, I tried Hinduism, I looked into Wicca (very half hearted and by then already convinced it wasn’t for me)and at the end of the road I found myself.
Years after I found myself I happened upon this website. Reasoned Spirituality. I had finally found what I believe put into words. So has my mother and one other lapsed German catholic. I had mailed my mother printouts of the site. When she received her first laptop and internet connection this was the first site she asked me about. The author of this site is anonymous. The author refuses to provide any information as she or he wishes people to refrain from making preconceived notions about him or her based on gender, race or age. And as maddening this is, it’s one of the things I so tremendously admire. I view the essays, thoughts and mindgames as one of the most amazing things the Internet has allowed to be created and can’t recommend it enough.