Saturday, May 8, 2010

Farewell my trusted friend of 15 years. Rest in Peace.

At 3 AM my husband woke me with our old dog in his arms. I rose asking 'what happened, what happend'. But once I turned on my bedside light I knew what was happening. My darling Yorkie was dying. He was barely conscious and fighting for air and clearly not winning the battle this time. He had a leaky heart valve  leading to congestive heart failure. For over 2 years we fought the battle together and fought it well. Until this morning that is. I had suspected for the last several days that the end was near. There were a lot of signs. But he still enjoyed his treats and was snooping around for crumbs from the kids. He still had his attitude. But there were signs and they didn't go un-noticed.  When I layed eyes on him I knew the end was near and so I grabbed a towel and we went downstairs. By the fireplace we laid our puppy who was by then unconscious and told him we loved him during his last few breaths and last few hearbeats. And then he was gone. Just like that. Of all my dogs, his passing was the easiest and best. He was held by us, who had known and loved him since he was 4 weeks old. And I told him we'd be alright and that Brutus, our other dog, his big brother, was waiting for him. I am weeping as I type this and yet so incredibly grateful that I had the opportunity to say goodbye. And that I was able to tell him one last time we loved him. He didn't suffer and he enjoyed even his last day of life with treats and his favorite food.

Goodnight, sweet furry friend. Sweet furry child. Go run again. Run with Brutus. It's been too long.

This is a poem that always meant a lot to me.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

(Melinda Sue Pacho)


things we make said...


I just read you are making my bread so I clicked on your blog and read this post. So sad. I am crying now.
Sounds like he was as loved as can be. I can't imagine losing our Ern, he is truly part of the family.

Best wishes and hope your loaf turns out well.


AFSS said...

I am so sorry for your loss. It is hearbreaking to lose one of your fur babies. ~Alasandra

Marlis said...

Thanks Claire and Alasandra, I appreciate your kind words. You both understand. When we lost Brutus our first dog (and that was a traumatic event) I thought that time would heal. Strangely enough it turned out to be the opposite. The feeling of missing him intensified for about 2 years. Same with Paddy now, it gets worse each day. I miss him so much. I brought home his ashes today. At least I hope they are because we paid extra for separate cremation but I always wonder if they really do or if it's "one scoop of the #1 shovel for small and 3 scoops of #4 for St. Bernard". Oh well, we'll never know I suppose. They came to us in 1994 and 1995 respectively and were our first 'babies'. I'll post some pictures soon. They were good lookin' kids. Now all we have left is fish and my dh managed to kill my favorite (Big Daddy) recently.

Thanks again guys, time for chocolate now... have to drown myself in chocolate....