At 3 AM my husband woke me with our old dog in his arms. I rose asking 'what happened, what happend'. But once I turned on my bedside light I knew what was happening. My darling Yorkie was dying. He was barely conscious and fighting for air and clearly not winning the battle this time. He had a leaky heart valve leading to congestive heart failure. For over 2 years we fought the battle together and fought it well. Until this morning that is. I had suspected for the last several days that the end was near. There were a lot of signs. But he still enjoyed his treats and was snooping around for crumbs from the kids. He still had his attitude. But there were signs and they didn't go un-noticed. When I layed eyes on him I knew the end was near and so I grabbed a towel and we went downstairs. By the fireplace we laid our puppy who was by then unconscious and told him we loved him during his last few breaths and last few hearbeats. And then he was gone. Just like that. Of all my dogs, his passing was the easiest and best. He was held by us, who had known and loved him since he was 4 weeks old. And I told him we'd be alright and that Brutus, our other dog, his big brother, was waiting for him. I am weeping as I type this and yet so incredibly grateful that I had the opportunity to say goodbye. And that I was able to tell him one last time we loved him. He didn't suffer and he enjoyed even his last day of life with treats and his favorite food.
Goodnight, sweet furry friend. Sweet furry child. Go run again. Run with Brutus. It's been too long.
This is a poem that always meant a lot to me.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
(Melinda Sue Pacho)