Wow, an Award! Thank you.

Thank you to the gracious and inspirational blogger of a homeschoolstory for honoring me with the Stylish Blogger Award.  I was told to write seven things about me so here goes:

1. I have lived on three continents.
2. Certain music can move me to tears. I always thought I was weird until an article on MSNBC.com showed me I am not alone. Phew, that's a many decades old load off my shoulders....Not thaaat many decades, but still...
3. I've experienced the pain of infertility and the joy of feeling life grow within me.
4. I like spicy foods and cook a lot of ethnic dishes, primarily Indian.
5. I learned English when I was 15 and it's been my primary language since then.
6. I never thought I'd have a blog, it just kinda grew ( I'd bet this happens to a lot of people)
7. I used to play the flute.

Now, I would love to honor some other bloggers that continue to inspire me.
http://boardinginbedlam.blogspot.com/  This homeschooling Dad hits the nail on the head and makes me laugh.
http://raisingfutureleaders.blogspot.com/ Lisa, is a lady who has done a fine job raising her kids. Her blog is full of cool resources and inspiration.
http://oursplendidadventure.blogspot.com/  This budding blog is something to keep an eye on!
http://thechurchcook.blogspot.com/ Kay Heritage, I find myself coming back to her astounding recipes over and over.
and last but not least http://dreamaboutfood.blogspot.com/ designer of awesome recipes! Really, don't go there if you don't want to be addicted.  If you decide to visit her site anyway... I did warn you and I will not be held responsible.....

Thank you all, though who visit my blog and leave a note now and then, you ALL are apprecitated.

Early Childhood Math Concept

I've been meaning to share our approach to teaching Bear math for a long time. The system developed when he had just turned 3 years old. Along with a concept in numbers I also re-enforced numbers, patterns and fine motor skills. The cost of this was minimal.



We used pipe cleaners and inexpensive wooden beads from a craft store
along with colored card board. Each cardboard have a number on one side and the
corresponding number of dots on the other side.

 

Once he started to understand the concept of numbers we enjoyed additional activities such as bringing the right amount of toy cars in a particular color.



Colored beads and pipe cleaners are a wonderful way to teach young children about patterns.The reasonably rigid structure of the pipe cleaner makes beading easier.

 Of course at the end of the day the best tools and activities for a child are interaction with parents.  Count the apples in a bowl, the eggs in the basket. Play games like ' if you and sissie have breakfast and both of you want one egg each, how many eggs should I cook?' Count Frootloop style cereals and let them make patterns for a necklace. Use Frootloop style cereal  for learning to make bar graphs and tally charts.

Bear is now five years old and does 2nd grade math. While I am thrilled about his interest in math, I know he is no prodigy (thank goodness). Nor is the fact that he does 2nd grade math so remarkable since the standard seems abysmally low. The wonderful thing about homeschooling is the fact that he can learn at his pace, whatever that may be. I am convinced however, that starting early is the key. As long as it's a game and there is no pressure a child's natural curiosity will lead them to discover and investigate.

Arrggh! Perfectionism meets Teenage Hormones!

This morning is not shaping up too well. My ten year old daughter is upstairs in her room sobbing her eyes out because she didn't get a glowing critique on a piece of creative writing.  She has a tendency to mix the tense mid paragraph going from present perfect to past perfect. Additionally she failed to meet the assignement's real purpose, to create a character and tell us about her. 

My almost eleven year old is sobbing in her room and I am really to bang my head against the wall. I told her that I am not her personal cheering squad and will push her harder as she gets older. Mediocrity will not do. Mediocrity will not get her anywhere in this world. Look where mediocrity has led this country. Hard work and sacrifice by our forfathers built this amazing country. And mediocrity is tearing it down.

(A few minutes later) I just realized that she has no goals. Nothing she is working towards. She is just floating along without any plan on where she wants to go. Her best friend is working towards being an olympic swimmer. Boy, that kid works hard. Ever seen a ten year old girl with sixpack abs? I have. Even more amazing that she does all this on a diet not containing any dairy, eggs, or nuts since she is allergic (anaphylacts).  She is currently in the top 2% in her age group in the country! My daughter on the other hand seems to, at some point, have given up.  Her allergies have taken away so much we all grew soft on her. Being highly intelligent and not having to work very hard in many regards added to the problem. Things just kinda come to her. In many ways I really admire my daughter. Of course I love both my kids but my daughter is someone truly amazing.  Now we need to find a way to channel this and I have to find a way to guide her.

Her current assignement, not meant for anyone's eyes but her own, is to write in her private journal what her goals and dreams are for herself.  It's time to be still, to be contemplative and look within.

For both of us.

Great Gift Idea for Any Parent Interested in Education

Fun in education has come a long way since I grew up. Take the above pictured set for example.  I wish they had stuff like that when I grew up!  So what is this you ask?
Combine richly illustrated 'Britannica' produced books with  a SD-X Interactive Reader Pen and let the magic happen. It did in my house. So much so, that the kids had fights over who got to use it when and how long.  We purchased the the above pictured set at Sam's Club for about $25 and it's worth every penny and more.  The set contains 3 books and a 'Reader' Pen which when placed at various points on each page provides hours of additional information and audioclips. We bought the set which has 'EARTH', 'HUMANS' and 'SPACE'. There are, however, other combinations available.  The set is published by PIL Books and here, for your convenience, is a link to their interactive store. In addition to the hours and hours of interesting soundbites your child can also challenge herself with quizzes.  Now, because this set became the ball everyone wanted to play with in our home I appreciated the added bonus in the headset port available on the pen's top. This was helpful for us as one kid was able to listen to his heart's content to the lessons while perusing a richly illustrated book without distracting his sister who was working on something else at the same time. We simply used the headphones from his I-Pod Shuffle.  I contacted the boss-man of PIL Books in the hopes of getting a 'give-away' arranged but unfortunately my e-mail was ignored lost.  But don't let this stop you from checking out these cool book sets. This investment is a treasured part of our growing home library.

Contemplative Days

I am in a contemplative mood, to say the least. But before I go deeper into my ruminations, let me tell you what brought me here.

Thanksgiving was marvelous. Exhausting but wonderful. My friend went on ad nauseam about her 'new kitchen' but other than that we had a good time. She and her husband come every year.  Since our families live too far away they are our ersatz relatives and the children adore them. The fact that they bring really cool toys doesn't hurt either (*smile*). On Friday we did nothing. No, actually it was NOTHING in capital letters. We bummed around all day recovering from the previous exhausting days. I haven't bummed around like this for years and it was marvelous. On Saturday we went shopping at an outlet mall which is a little more than an hour away. We returned home rather late and the kids went straight off to bed. To decompress I stayed up and played on the PS3. It's my addiction. That and a glass of wine make my day. What can I say, I am a teenager in an old broad's body. I was a mere minute or two from turning off the PS3 to retire to bed when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was the name of one my my employees. At 12:40 AM that could only be some bad news. My young employee sobbed into the phone when I answered 'My Mom's dead, we found her, she's dead.'

....

....

I asked what any good boss would ask : 'Where are you? Are you at home?' When she said she was I told her I'd be right there.  Since she lives less than 5 minutes drive from my house I was there within 10 minutes.  And there, my employee of 5 years and her sister collapsed in my arms and cried and cried and cried.  They had found their mother, you see. She had some substance abuse issues and her not answering the phone or calling back only several days later was normal. So when calls on Thursday and Friday went unanswered, the girls went to check on her on Saturday evening. According to the fire department people and the police she had died sometime on Thursday. Autopsy results are pending.  The sad thing here is that the kids are blaming themselves. Without going into details here, I can tell you this with certainty. It was not their fault.  Was this unexpected? No. But in a twinkling these young women lost their mother.

Previous weeks saw me loosing a dear friend. He died suddenly and unexpectedly at the young age of 63.  And then, a beloved family family friend went in from some routine colon cancer surgery and is now, almost 7 weeks later still fighting for his life because of complications and largely due to incompetent doctors. And that's in Germany.  Then my employee's mother fell on the carpet and stayed there. I am also worried sick about my Dad. He is alive and propped up with a stick and the marvels of modern medicine. My mother too has health issues (cancer survivor) But Dad? A bad heart, bad kidneys, a bad liver and claws for hands because the rheumatic arthritis ate his bones and dissolved them. It breaks my heart.

After Peter died (the friend I told you about ) I made sure I sent a heartfelt card to the seriously sick friend in Germany. And thankfully he got it while he could still read. Peter? Well, I always meant to write to him. I always meant to take the time and send him an e-mail but just always found myself too busy.  And now he's gone. And my employee's mom? Gone too.  I learned one thing from this, don't put off letting the people in your life know how you feel about them. There is no 'replay memory' option in our lives, no 'undo' button. As for me? I plan to make good use of the pile of  cards purchased over the years and really send them to the intended recipients.

One more thing about the friends in Germany. Every year since the birth of my daughter they've sent Advents Calendar cards.  And today, even though Rolf is still in the hospital and his faithful wife at least 4-6 hours a day by his side, they sent the children their yearly special cards and me a card to thank me for the one I sent them a few days ago. Even in some of  their darkest hours they still thought about other people. Hours later I still tear up over this.  Stick a fork in me, I am done!

As for me, I am taking a lesson from all of this. Acknowledge all of those who are in your lives. I've always made sure I read the badges of store clerks and use their names when I talk to them. I've always written down the names of customer service I talk to over the phone and use those when talking to them. Now it's time to acknowledge those I've been taking for granted.

Actions and Consequences

What do you think of my decision? Please be honest.

A few weeks ago I found one of my son's  t-shirts with several scissor cuts in the hem area. When confronted he (eventually) admitted to cutting the t-shirt.  Don't you hate the sentence ' I don't knooooowwwww.....' You know the kind you get when you ask your kid why in the name of Sam Hill they did something?! It was a brand new shirt and I wasn't pleased. I gave him a scolding and a stern warning that he could only cut paper and only with permission. Later I found another t-shirt with a cut in the bottom. I didn't say anything figuring it had happened shortly before the one I'd found previously.
This morning I noticed my daughters' Corbin Bleau (sp?) concert ticket on her desk. I wondered why it wasn't in it's usual place but didn't say anything suspecting that she was rearranging her belongings. I should mention that she met the singer/actor and he autographed that ticket.
Hours later I heard much commotion. My son (who turned 5 in August btw), cut up the ticket. I gave him a spank on the derriere this time and grounded him for the rest of the weekend. No sweets, desserts, tv or pc time. Now IT man is mad at me for messing up the weekend. He felt I should just have left the grounding to the rest of the day until evening. You see, Saturday is family TV night. We watch a movie and eat a steak dinner.  Now that we won't watch the tube together tonight IT man is boycotting steak and family time. Thanks, I love being the family ogre. Apparently we can't do without the TV. He feels my punishment is too severe and is irate that it affects our family movie time. Gee, sorry I didn't time Bear's bad behaviour better.  He should have done this on a Monday. He also feels Bear shouldn't have had access to scissors and that I shouldn't teach him how to cut stuff up even though I told him that this was necessary fine motor skills practise we must do. He found the scissors in his big sister's desk by the way.

So, you experienced mothers and fathers out there. Please let me know what you guys think.  Was I too severe?  I know this is quite a severe punishment but feel that the lack of punishment during the t-shirt episode contributed to this. My parents were big on punishments. His parents quite the opposite. I strive for the middleground. Our children are rarely punished. Scolded and sit down meetings happen with some more frequency but two day groundings can be counted on one hand for both combined. 

How do you discipline your kids? Do you discuss the punishement together or does one parent usually assume the ogre role?  How do you handle the situation when one of you disagrees with the punishment?

Everybody's got one...(show me yours, I'll show you mine)

Gotcha!
Now, go pick your mind out of the gutter. There's a dear. Here, sit down, have a cucumber sandwich and a spot of tea. Fancy a biscuit? That's British for cookie.

Everybody's got one? By that I meant 'Opinion'.  What floors me is how liberal we all are with our opinions on things which often don't even affect us at all. Throw out some words into any gathering of  people and see what happens. Homeschooling and Circumcision just to mention two, are biggies. One thing I'd like to ask those who make such bilious comments about homeschooling is this: "How does my decision to homeschool my children affect you?" Why do you feel entitled to 'bless' us with your unsolicited opinions? Many anti homeschooling opinions are penned by individuals who have little one-on-one experience with homeschoolers. I can see how some teachers may have a dim view of it for a variety of reasons. The thing I am not always sure about is this; are these views truly based solely on their care and concern for the children or a variety of other reasons.


So what is it that invites people, even those not directly impacted by homeschooling, to make comments? Read any homeschooling blog and you are sure to come across personal accounts of homeschooling parents having to fend off often uninformed and negative remarks about their choice. Comments often made by family (in which case I can understand the concern but please educate yourself before opening your mouth) and in many cases strangers. Shouldn't we all make sure we are educated about an issue before we open our mouths.


My son currently has the habit of telling people he meets that he is homeschooled. Out of the blue and for no reason. I wish he wouldn't do that. I don't want people judging my children based on some preconceived negative notion about homeschoolers. Much rather, I'd prefer it to be something they find out later when they know my children and me for who we are. We all have thoughts about a multitude of different topics and issues. But a wise person keeps their thoughts and opinions to themselves unless solicited to share them. Even then it's often wiser to remain silents and noncommittal especially if ones knowledge is third hand and poorly formulated or apt to hurt someones feelings. My feelings about religion, as for example, would ruffle many feathers.  Why would I go and trample over what is important to someone else just to hear myself talk? 

Rather than accosting someone with a bunch of preconceived notions about something, just ask some questions and really listen to the answers. That's another thing I see a lot of. People ask questions merely as a way to draw one into a conversation. The questions are usually meant as a vehicle to allow the person who asked to then follow it up with their opinions and it often becomes clear that they didn't really listen to the answers given.

Free speech. On so many occasions I told my daughter that Free Speech is one of the things that makes this country so great. One other great thing is the liberal use of the 'Delete' button. Or the 'X' button to close a browser window. It definitely saves some nerves. Just because we have the liberty of Free Speech doesn't necessarily mean that it's one we are required to use all the time.  And yet the increasingly narcissistic nature of our society invites more 'opinions' and 'thoughts' than in the decades before.

Silence can be golden.