Crazy week # 1.

I find myself up an hour earlier than intended thanks to:

a) my contractor photographer texting me at 5:24 AM letting me know he received the itinerary for today (when I asked him to confirm this last evening) - yes, even low volume sounds wake me up. Even through earplugs.
b) my dd (damned dog, darling dog, darned dog - take your pick) ralphing in his kennel at 5:55 AM.

nice.... real nice....

And shame on me for going to bed so late.

so sue me....

I am owly in the morning.

even when I get up after my requisite seven hours of sleep.

I hate people who can do with four or five or six hours.

I am not one of them.

Last week was crazy. My dh (husband with 'd' starting adjectives in front) left Tuesday AM for a month long family related trip. On Wednesday morning one of my employees calls me and asks if it was OK for her to take her husband (too sick to drive and no car besides) to the doc as he was doing poorly.  OK. Not a problem. I'll cover for her for a few hours. Well, a few hours later she calls and tells us they are at the ER! The doctor thought he was having a heart attack and sent him straight there. Except it isn't a heart attack but an ever increasing range of serious symptoms and no diagnosis even as of Sunday night.  A specialist is in finding zebras is coming to look at him today, so hopefully he can help. Dr. House  to room 4425 please.

Obviously I didn't get to teach the kids this week, between Monday packing, Tuesday the kids Dad leaving and Wednesday through Friday covering for my employee at the office. My employee plans to come in late and leave early and work a half day  for the forseeable future so she can both be with her husband and not burn through all of her vacation time. This should allow me to get my children's education back on track.

Helloooooo, i'm baaaaack!

It's been a long time since I blogged. A number of reasons are to blame for this. I was quite busy for a long time between November and December.  A general feeling of inertia didn't help. What to write, what to say?

Frankly, today I don't have much more to say either. For starters, let me wish all of you a wonderful New Year. May the year 2012 bring you good health, creativity, and success.

2012 will be, for us, a year which will bring many changes. My father in-law will be coming to live with us. That is a big deal. And since we cannot afford a bigger home he will be making the family room into his bedroom. I've known for over two years this was coming and for over two years now I've been telling myself not to let my imagination run wild. Try that!

We are going to try and have our children enrolled in a nearby school.  Well, nearby is relative. The school is about 12 miles away and that distance peppered by a great many red lights, and roads well attended by hungry cops waiting for anyone going even three miles over speedlimit. And  to make matters all the more challenging....school starts there at 7:30 AM! Aaaack!!!
We also don't know if that school will accept our children. We are not in their district but that public school is the only one we are willing send our children to. The three 'ifs' here are:

1. Will they accept our kids.
2. Will they work with our kids abilities rather than age.
3. Will Missy's health be able to handle it.

Our reasons for attempting school again are several. We are a self employed family. The company needs to grow in order for us to survive the economy, and in order to do that I have to be there at least 3-4 hours a day to run product development and planning. We also feel that in order for Missy to access certain academic opportunities she needs to go to a school. There is a great local private school but the tuition runs about 10K per child and we cannot afford this any longer. Bear needs more interaction with children his age and so we have decided to try this.

Frankly, I am utterly torn up about this move. I don't really want to do it, and neither does my daughter. We love homeschooling and would love to continue doing this but in our small town we simply don't seem to have the co-ops here you might find in larger cities. We are academically very focused and it appears that the primary flavors of local homeschoolers are unschooling, Waldorf oriented, or Christian based. If we had some strong local homeschool options in terms of classes, lab time etc, we would probably be more likely to continue homeschooling especially with my father in-law at home. He would be able to oversee the children doing their independent lessons while I put in my hours at the office.

One thing is certain, unless I see with absolute certainty that the kids are thriving, this experiment will be short-lived.

Both of these changes fill me with much trepidation. But there is no way out of at least one of them, and so I need to charge forward.

This is a helluva time to reduce my wine intake....

Introducing my stinkers.

Boredom Busters?

If you are a parent you are guaranteed to have heard the whine: 'Mom, I'm booooored.'
What should we do? Many parents pack their children's days full with activities even during summer. Kids go to all sorts of camps and activities in the hope of staving off the summer doldrums. I on the other hand, will try to have a healthy balance between activities and carefully cultivated boredom.

'Huh?'
.................................

Here is what usually happens:


'Mom, I am bored.'

'Mmmmmm.'

'What shall I do?'

'How about playing with your cars, or coloring?'

'I don't feel like it.'

'Ok, how about....'

..............Well, you probably know how this goes on. I keep coming up with other ideas and they all are summarily rejected.

Then...

'Can I watch some TVeeeeeeee?'

'Nope.'

'Can I go on the computer?'

'Nope.'

'Can I play with the DS?'

'Nope.'

'But I am so booooored....'

'Too bad.'

The victim of my callousness slinks off to brood on the unfairness of it all.  As he ascends the stairs to his room I may hear some stomping. Sort of his way of telling me that he isn't impressed with me at all.

I could say I sigh but I normally just grin.

And eventually my son, my youngest, does come up with something to entertain himself.

Unless, ....

                      .....he gets hold of his dad, in which case the conversation usually lasts only 2 minutes (at the utmost) and ends with the beeping sounds of the TV being turned on.

Pushover.

Wienie.

Marshmallow.

And here comes the 'when I grew up' yarn.

Yawn.

I had to haul water from an icy river after chopping wood for an hour and then I walked many miles to school. Upon coming home I had to milk the cows, swap the deck....
Seriously, even Tom Sawyer didn't have to do that. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

But in all honesty,  I think I had a better childhood than my kids. We didn't have countless TV shows clamoring for our attention. There were no videogames. And personal PCs didn't exist either.

Uh-uh. I think I just dated myself.

We played outside all day long. And read books. And then acted out the stories. We rode our bikes everywhere (without helmets) and swam in the local  pond. Of course I grew up in a small village in Germany and these things were not only perfectly safe but also normal.  Would I let my daughter ride her bike alone to her friend who lives a few blocks away? Heck no!  Sad. Isn't it. 

Let's bring this conversation back to the word.

Boredom.  B-O-R-E-D-O-M. BOOOOORRRREDOM.

Boredom forces the mind to stop spinning. It forces a child's mind to relax for a little while and step back. Boredom comes in stages.

Stage one: The realization that the current activity has become less than satisfying.

Stage two: You keep doing the activity because you are hoping it'll become fun again.

Stage three: You give up the activity and maybe try something else with similar results.

Stage four: You realize that you are bored.

Stage five: You sit in your room and drool on yourself. After a while you attempt to fill that mental space with something else. If you are a teenager you may fall asleep. Or you pick up the phone to find someone to talk to. Eventually you'll start doing things which may or may not be stupid or dangerous and realize you are not bored anymore.  If the bored child is not a teen he or she will go on the prowl to find something to fill that mental space.

Hello, it echoes in here, someone fill me up.

Don't.

Let them fill it up themselves. Just provide the raw materials.

When nothing comes to fill up the space the child will eventually come up with something creative to fill the space. 

Boredom encourages thinking. It encourages creativity. But only if we allow the child to fill the space herself.  To fill the space without our input of activities and especially without the use of electronic baby sitters. Give them options. At their disposal have Legos, crafts, art, books, discovery in the backyard, train the pet stupid tricks. Etc. It can't be spoon-fed entertainment as that defeats the purpose, the children have to use their brains to come up with something. 

Allow your child to experience and deal with boredom. He or she will become a much safer teen. Teenagers who never learned to manage boredom will be far more likely to engage in risky behaviour just to stop feeling that way.  Teach them from young on to be creative. Yes, it may be that your young child will come into the kitchen and say he wants to cook or bake or borrow pots and pans to make a percussion set up for 'music'. And when they do, don't you dare say 'No', if you can at all help it. Be creative with them and hand them a spoon.

Saturday Morning and A long and slow rain...

It's Saturday morning. And we are all doing what we normally do on a Saturday morning. Bear is watching TV. On Saturday mornings he is allowed to watch Public Television shows. That is special because he isn't allowed to do this any other mornings of the week. You know, I have pretty much banned all save for a few Disney shows from our house. All the little guy learned from those shows is questionable behavior and morals. The shows I hate the most are 'Wizards of Waverly Place' and the 'Zac and Cody' series. The shows I love on PBS are 'Martha Speaks, Ruff Ruffman, Curious George, Clifford (do you guys adore T-Bone?), Electric Company..., geez OK, I like them all except for Sesame Street.

I digressed, back to what we are doing. Saturday AM is my 'hang out at the laptop morning'. I wake up with my cup of tea at the laptop every morning but on Saturdays
I give myself extra time.

IT Man is working.

Missy is either still asleep (that girl can sleep!) or busy reading in bed. 

Only one more lazy Saturday left for us. Two Saturdays from now we'll be busy getting ready to meet our new family member early in the morning (after a sleepless night no doubt). We are picking up the pup on the 28th. Boy! will that be interesting. Training a pup again, cleaning up oopses and muddy paw-prints (what was I thinking when I said 'yes' to getting a dog?)  taking away half chewed remotes and other valuables and soothing a crying child because the dog ate a favorite (insert noun here).

It's raining today. The slow, steady rain gardeners so love. Or those that have freshly seeded their lawn and need slow, steady rain.  It's a good day to do inside stuff. My house looks like a tornado went through and this day is perfect for some cleaning and tidying. I'll rope the kids in to help. And maybe IT man when he is done with his stuff.  Although he had a bad back spasm yesterday and is still in pain. He'd better clean away his newspapers otherwise he'll be in more pain.

I think I'll start now.
I also think I'll start posting pictures of the children.

But now I will wake up Missy.

Right after I ask IT man to make me some coffee.

Happy Mother's Day!




All mothers are lionesses when it comes to their cubs!

  To all my fellow mothers out there, wishes for a peaceful and Happy
Mother's Day!

Look who is coming for dinner?

...and lunch and breakfast....

In about a month,  we will have a new family member. We are going to be joined by an Airedale boy who will be just a little younger than what you see in this picture here. We chose the airedale breed because of Missy's allergies, after considering a number of other breeds as well. What we like about this breed is that it is relatively rare and therefore has not quite as many breed specific health issues as some of the other candidates.  We also wanted something larger than a yorkie. One of our neighbors has an airedale, so we had Missy rub her hands into the dog's fur and then rub her face and eyes. There was no reaction!  IT man and I love the mastiff breeds but Missy is terribly allergic to them and with all the over breeding, they do have a lot of issues unless you go with some of the rarer breeds. Due to the allergy issues we were not going to go with a rescue dog, although I visited the local sites frequently and even inquired about one young dog who was an funny and adorable mix of two low allergen breeds. But he had already been adopted. We hadn't planned on getting another dog but the kids wanted one so badly and IT man and I like the security of having another set of ears in the home at night.  Our dogs' barking chased away a burglar once so we know it works.  The kids' age is ideal for adding a dog to the family right now, with Bear going to be six in August and Missy 11½. Airedales are very energetic and smart  (unfortunately also stubborn) and so our life is about to take on another level of crazy :)

Joy

Saturday and Sunday blessed us with amazing spring weather. It was sunny and quite warm with temps going into the low eighties even. We cleaned our screened-in porch and yard and enjoyed the outdoors all day long. All the while our doors and windows were wide open and the kids ran around outside all day long playing in the yard. Even the neighbors commented on that.
Now, why would a neighbor comment on that? Because they haven't seen Missy outside in spring for years. Until last year they didn't see her in summer and fall or winter either.  In prior years we had the house bolted shut. Open windows? Not a chance. Playing outside? Are you insane? Bear is so attached to his sister that he never wanted to play outside if she didn't come too.  So, he too, once he left daycare, didn't get much outside time in.
Yes, she'll probably be a tad itchy for the next few days. And it wouldn't surprise me if the inhaler got used a bit more, but it's worth it. The joy of seeing my children play outside is so great I wiped a secret tear of joy here and there. Even now as I see these words take shape on my digital paper.  They replace tears (equally secret) of sorrow when I'd see my little girl stand by the window watching the children of the neighborhood play outside. Or when I'd see her thin, bony, scratched bloody shoulders slump in defeat when I refused to listen to her entreaties of 'Mom, I promise I'll stay on the concrete, I won't touch the grass, please, just one minute, just one minute.' It broke her spirit and my heart.
I guess the treatment is working. She is getting allergy shots. And I firmly believe that removing her from school made a huge difference. Her body no longer had to constantly combat all those  allergens everbody brought to class on their clothing. Her immune system was allowed to calm down. But all that is technical. Meanwhile, I'll gladly have tissue boxes in strategic locations all over the house for my sneezy kids if it means they can play outside like normal kids.

No, he didn't escape...the curse is upon my son as well

Allergies. My daughter has suffered terribly with allergies and they were the reason for us starting to homeschool. Now, for the past few months I am watching my son get more and more allergic. He doesn't have eczema like his sister, and he doesn't have asthma (yet), but he is clearly allergic. We'll have to allergy proof his room. He has nasal symptoms in the mornings and lately his little cheeks look bumpy with little hives. His sister is quite upset about this as she is terrified he'll go through what she endured. And that was a nightmare. Missy's eczema is mostly gone now. She has a patch of KP (Keratosis Pilaris on her belly) and some eczema rash that comes and goes on her upper thighs (precipitated by underwear I think). Bear has KP on his upper arms and knees, nothing to be concerned about, but since KP is a form of eczema I am worried he might still develop it. After all, he has a 25% chance of getting eczema too.  I put on a brave face but inwardly I am afraid too. Non- lethal allergies may not take your life but they can certainly take the quality out of it and they are certainly life altering.

As heard on 'Good Luck, Charlie'

Cast of Characters.

 

Charlie, adorable,blonde toddler (approx. 2 years old)
Charlie's Mom.
Charlie's considerably older brothers.

 

Setting: Basement Family/Laundry/ whatever room. Charlie is sitting on a portable potty in front of TV, while mother alternately cajoles and bribes Charlie to go potty.

 

Two older brothers barge in and try to set TV up to play video-games.  Mother tells them not to do that because baby Charlie only goes potty when she can watch `the Gurgles (presumably something like the Wiggles).

 

Older brother: "Charlie needs the 'Gurgles'  to do her business?"

Mother: "Yes, dear, Charlie needs the 'Gurgles to do her business, much like your dad needs the sports section to do his."
***

 

Can you relate? Our family certainly can. We all have our 'potty aids' too!

• IT man needs his Wall Street Journal. 
• I need my I-Pad or a book (preferably cook book - don't ask, I don't know either)
• Missy whatever book has been stashed in the bathroom.
• Bear whatever he can sing to himself because he can't read well enough just yet.

Are you a 'potty reader'?

Happy Birthday Missy!

Missy about 5 minutes after birth.

Happy Birthday, Missy! Eleven years ago you came in to our life. The best Valentine your Daddy and I could ever have imagined.  You were this little, brown eyed, brown haired bundle with a big, insistent voice.  We brought you home a few days later where you were welcomed by Brutus and Paddy, our dogs. Boy, did they go crazy over you. They weren't allowed inside  your room so both parked themselves just outside your door. They would creep forward so at least their heads were inside, after all they couldn't bear to miss anything.

You stood up on your own by the time you were 8 months old but nothing on earth could convince you to walk. I was one inexperienced Momma. I had absolutely no idea what happens when baby starts walking. During your first Christmas you learned to walk and you stopped nursing a week before your first birthday. You already had cut down to one morning snack and I wasn't going to keep wearing those bras for one feeding.  You didn't mind, I think you were OK with it as long as we had our morning snuggles. Hugs in our family are a big thing. You are eleven now and still love a snuggle. I feel so lucky!
Here you are, that angry, wailing, hungry infant is now alternately a poised, funny young girl, or a moody, sulking tween.  For the most part you are the first version. But hey,  I'll take both. As long as you don't get as bad as I was (my poor parents), we'll make it alright!

We passed through a lot of phases along the way. Do you remember Elmo? I still have your Elmo stuffie. You know, even though I am a thrower that was one of those things even I had to hold on too. After that Strawberry Shortcake (?) made you smile. Remember that huge doll someone gave you? We had no problem donating that to daycare, huh? And of course My Little Pony and Barbie.  One phase you never quite outgrew is your love for matchbox (and larger model) cars. You rock! Of course we experienced Little Pets and Littlest Pets and the very expensive Pokemon. I love how very anti-fad you are now. No Silly Bandz in our home!

You are an awesome young girl. You are kind and considerate and giving. I suppose that is why your little brother is still alive. You went through some rough times but came through with an inner strength that will guide you all your life. The last eleven years were the best of my life and I look forward to experiencing the next of your life's years with you.

We love you so much.

Mom

Tribute to a Mother

I'd like to take a moment and tell you about a mother. The mother of the mother of my husband. A deeply devout mother who dedicated her life to her daughters. Especially her middle child, my mother-in-law. You see, my mother-in-law had meningitis in her thirties and once she awoke from a three week coma she had to relearn everything. Enter my grandmother-in-law. She packed her bags, moved in and never left. Once again she taught her daughter how to walk. She taught her daughter once again how to eat, talk, go potty and write.  Once again my grandmother-in-law (I call her Didu), patiently taught her daughter how to button a blouse and tie a knot. And although my mother-in-law (who passed away last year) learned all those things she never regained full function. And so Didu stayed. My mother-in-law had lost most of her hearing due to the disease and her balance. My grandmother-in-law was her ears and steadied her when needed, isn't that what we mothers do?

Didu had been bedridden for a while now and lived mostly in her dreamlike world of memories, occasionally vocalized with urgencies such as 'your husband is coming home from work, let us quickly make a snack for him'.  About 4 days ago she entered a permanent dream state or coma. The decision was made to let this 90 something lady go to sleep and today she once again rejoined two of her daughters and her husband.

Didu, rest in peace. I'm here to take care of your grandson.

Your grand-daughter.

A totally Kidcentric Day.

We spent the entire day in an university town yesterday. Oh, what a day it was. Missy has been enrolled in a gifted program at the university and went to attend two 3 hour classes. The first was a math class  titled ' Multiplication Strategies to Amaze and Bewilder Your Parents & Teachers'  which was based on the teachings of Bill Handley, Australian Math Educator. The next class was titled 'Forensic Science'. She was was really lucky to get in to that class as it fills up fast and by the time we decided to spend the whole day doing this it was booked. Additionally it was meant for grades 6-8. Missy is '5th grade'. I simply called them and asked if they ever bend the rules on age range and if they would call me if a slot opened up. Well, they just fit her right in!  She had a great day except for the part in forensic science when they burned sheep's wool and other fibers to teach the students how to identify different fibers. Missy is horribly allergic to wool. Even without touching it. For her, just being in the same room is enough and when they burned it she obviously had a reaction. My first question when I saw her face after class was 'What did they have in the room?'  Two benadryl later and several puffs of her inhaler she was better. She clearly enjoyed both classes but was a bit frustrated with the second. She was familiar with a good many of the forensic tools and techniques (don't ask, we are weird) and being the youngest in the class nobody wanted her in their team. So, my (awesome, I might add) girl just walked up to a table with some kids and parked herself there. Missy wasn't taking avoidance for a cue or an answer.  She ended up doing most of the writing while the boys generally clowned around.

All in all, the two classes were a total success.

And what did Bear get to do all day? He had a blast! We spent pretty much most of the 6 hours with him at the local Children's Museum. Bear, IT Man, and I discovered, made a mask, played with the exhibits, made all  sorts of cool stuff and generally wore Bear out.  He even went on a carousel at the mall. Who would have thought that iridescent green horse-mer-dragons make  such great rides. After we picked his sister up from the classes we went back to that mall and goofed around at the Best Buy store until dinner time.  Yes, we are all horribly into anything with buttons. A dinner in our bellies crowned the day. Our discussion on the way home (Bear was asleep by then) was about the possibility of alien life on our planet, dimensions, singularities and wormholes , and other related stuff. Did I mention we are weird?

A sad commentary on the content of America's shopping carts

Yesterday my darling husband went to Sam's Club to shop for some items I needed.  And as he stood at the check-out a nice, elderly lady commented how nice it was to see a man eating so healthy. My husband informed her that it was as per a shopping list his wife gave him for our family. Upon hearing that the nice lady said: 'Oh, bless her heart for feeding her family so well.'

What was in that cart you ask?
1 g. Milk
1 3lb. tray of stew Beef
1 bag Gala Apples
I  box Grapes
3 Cucumbers
1 bag Onions
1 3lb. bag Broccoli
1 bottle White Wine
1 box of fake (Cholesterol Free) Eggs

The thing that we find so sad is the fact that a shopping cart filled with healthy food is so noteworthy as to provoke a comment. Had he stood there with his cart full of cardboard, plastic and preservatives he wouldn't have stood out at all. But apparently a cart full of fruits and veggies is unusual. To me this is another sign that maybe I am doing something right after all. We are eating fewer and fewer preserved items. Even my son has lately turned into a veggie chomping kid who happily snarfs down all kinds of veggies. It took time to bring him to this point but it happened.  Yes, we eat chocolate and Nutella makes a regular appearance on top of whole wheat bread in our home. But we also eat a ton of veggies and fruits and apparently that is a rare thing among those who shop at Sam's.  My kids like juice as much as the next kid but have gotten used to the fact that we don't have it every day. As to 'sugar bubbles' aka soda... we never buy that for our home. It simply isn't something that finds it's way into our diet unless we make a rare trip for junky fast food.

Fresh foods aren't that hard to make. And by eating healthier foods we end up eating less. Tonight's dinner was Chinese Beef Broccoli. 1 lb of beef and almost a pound of broccoli florets fed the four of us with a little left over.

I am not a health nut. But I have, over the last two years or so, become increasingly aware of the garbage we put into our mouths. And we, as a family, are working on fighting back. We do eat out once in a while. And yes, we eat Nathan's Hot Dogs once in a while too while gulping down coma inducing amounts of liquid sugar (aka Coca Cola).  But we believe that it's OK, as long as those indulgences are tempered with a healthier daily lifestyle which includes lots of  fresh vegetables and fruits.

Now if I can only nail down the exercising part....

I shall rant and rave about 'high fructose corn syrup' in an other post.... LOL

The Day Hell came to our Home!

I found this link on Alesandra's blog (you can find a link to her site on my blog). I read this and was horrified. It looks like... well, I shouldn't say but needless to say there are more than a few fishy things about what's happening there.  Please read this blog  (link below) and  pass it on to as many people as you can.


http://lionesshomeschool.blogspot.com/


One more thing. Please upload the (sound) files on those links to a PC if you can, just in case they suddenly 'vanish'.

Can you see the hair on the legs?

This is a picture of a bumble bee I took with the same lens and camera. As you can see it's currently on my desktop , hence the Recyle Bin icon. A macro lens does something amazing with just the most common backyard animals.  It brings them closer and encourages us to look longer and appreciate deeper. If you use a SLR camera save up your pennies and treat yourself to a macro lens as a family gift. You can often  find us crawling through the backyard with the lens hunting for curious creatures. Even my allergic daughter will  hazard some itching for the chance to catch that perfect shot.

Recommended Reading: The Creativity Crisis - A Newsweek Article

A fascinating article by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman on Newsweek talks about the slow but noticeable and steady dwindling of creativity among American children. This alarming trend has been studied and is very worrisome.

What’s shocking is how incredibly well Torrance’s creativity index predicted those kids’ creative accomplishments as adults. Those who came up with more good ideas on Torrance’s tasks grew up to be entrepreneurs, inventors, college presidents, authors, doctors, diplomats, and software developers. Jonathan Plucker of Indiana University recently reanalyzed Torrance’s data. The correlation to lifetime creative accomplishment was more than three times stronger for childhood creativity than childhood IQ.

The advantage we have here as homeschooling parents is that it gives us greater leeway and opportunities to foster imagination and creativity in our children. But I think all parents should take this seriously. How creative can children be when they are constantly stimulated by outside forces. The TV, the PC, Nintendo, PS3, X-Box I could go on an on. We let them turn on the TV or videogame just so they stop whining at us.
For what it's worth my children play with more imagination than some of their playmates but after reading this article I cannot help but be convinced that I have to provide them with more guidance and inspiration to be imaginative and creative.

Farewell my trusted friend of 15 years. Rest in Peace.

At 3 AM my husband woke me with our old dog in his arms. I rose asking 'what happened, what happend'. But once I turned on my bedside light I knew what was happening. My darling Yorkie was dying. He was barely conscious and fighting for air and clearly not winning the battle this time. He had a leaky heart valve  leading to congestive heart failure. For over 2 years we fought the battle together and fought it well. Until this morning that is. I had suspected for the last several days that the end was near. There were a lot of signs. But he still enjoyed his treats and was snooping around for crumbs from the kids. He still had his attitude. But there were signs and they didn't go un-noticed.  When I layed eyes on him I knew the end was near and so I grabbed a towel and we went downstairs. By the fireplace we laid our puppy who was by then unconscious and told him we loved him during his last few breaths and last few hearbeats. And then he was gone. Just like that. Of all my dogs, his passing was the easiest and best. He was held by us, who had known and loved him since he was 4 weeks old. And I told him we'd be alright and that Brutus, our other dog, his big brother, was waiting for him. I am weeping as I type this and yet so incredibly grateful that I had the opportunity to say goodbye. And that I was able to tell him one last time we loved him. He didn't suffer and he enjoyed even his last day of life with treats and his favorite food.

Goodnight, sweet furry friend. Sweet furry child. Go run again. Run with Brutus. It's been too long.

This is a poem that always meant a lot to me.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.

I am not there. I did not die.

(Melinda Sue Pacho)

Sunday = Vegging out, fun and nagging little feelings of guilt

Sunday...that one little word means so much. Family time, relaxing, fun. And in the back of my mind the nagging little voice that can't be silenced. It whispers about Monday being the next day. I chides me for neglecting all the things I know I should do to make the coming week easier. Things like making a menu, shopping and cooking. Things that, when I do them, do make a world of difference. But instead I potter around, we eat a late breakfast and at 1 PM I am still in pjs. Sheesh. And you know what... I love it. I went to bed last night only at 12:40 AM. Was I industriously preparing lessons or ironing? Goodness no! I was experimenting with different aircraft in my beloved HAWX game to see which one can get me completing the the oil refinery mission. I love the weaponry I get with the Raven but the craft doesn't handle as well. The 'Frog' wasn't on my 'love-it' list. I think I am leaning towards the COSAIR. Dandy little thing handles like a corvette. Listing to me... I am 40 for Pete's and talking like a 17 year old game addict.

Gotta go and get a little prune out of the tub. By now he is probably saponifying....